It’s a huge responsibility to name a child – after all their name is (usually) theirs for life. We’ve all heard of, or met, people with ridiculous names (tempted to go off into examples here, but will leave it to your memories and imaginations) – and no parent wants to cause their child to be ridiculed or teased – any more than usual – because of their particular choice. On top of this we want a name that will suit the child, and that we, and maybe even the child, will like ourselves in 20/30/40 years time. So this naming lark is fairly important really.
In spite of the pressure to get it right, I thought that choosing a name for a child would be no problem to me. You see, I used to name all sorts of things. In school I had a stereo called Fred, a leather jacket called Jason, and Doc Marten boots called Cyril and Cecile. Although I have never understood why, thankfully, over the course of my twenties the urge to name inanimate objects left me, and my jacket was just “my jacket”. But, while I was glad that I avoided being put in a padded cell to talk to a CD player, I did think that my ability to choose names might stand to me in the future.
In fairness, coming up with a name for the toddler wasn’t too bad. The husband, bless him, had a good suggestion, and some awful ones, and once I had told him which was which, we were pretty much sorted.
However, since then, our ability to name anything has disappeared altogether. We’ve had ample opportunity to realise this, with the flow of teddies, dollies and other toys into our lives as the toddler has expanded her little family. We had an epiphany with her rag doll, who is called Lizzy – and we’re proud of that. But that was the one and only naming success we have had. She has four teddies, called Teddy, Teddy, Teddy and, err, Teddy. She has two elephants, which we imaginatively named Nellie and Nellie. She has a bunny called, yip, Bunny, and a giraffe named Giraffe. Noddy (of Noddy and Big Ears fame) is of course called Noddy (no one can blame us there). But, we hit complete rock bottom with her baby dolls. She absolutely loves them – and will change their nappies, feed them, take them in and out of the toy buggy, kiss and hug them for hours on end. It’s lovely to watch, and you’d think the husband and I would have come up with some nice baby names for her – as a bit of encouragement and support. Nope, the three babies are known as; Baby, Other Baby, and New Baby. If you think that there is a bit of artistic license here, and that I am exaggerating, you’re very wrong – it really is that bad.
We have no names at all for this baby – in spite of much discussion and perusal of baby name websites and books. If we use the approach we’ve taken so far this baby could end up as Other/ New “Toddlers Name”, or Other New Baby or New Other Baby. Hmmm, not exactly workable for school, nor likely to give a child a sense of belonging. Maybe I should sit down and name my phone and my cooker, and that might get the imaginative juices flowing again….