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Posts tagged ‘home truths’

The convenience truth

Keeping the small people well nourished is an exhausting, time consuming and ridiculously messy process.

As an enthusiastic new mum, I gladly jumped onto the ‘home-made’ band wagon. The hand-blender became an additional limb and like a baby food alchemist, I turned every type of fruit and vegetable known to mankind into a dizzying array of colourful, nutritious purees.

Despite all my good intentions however, my resistance to convenience food inevitably started to crack as the reality of providing an endless amount of proper meals for increasingly fussy mouths started to hit home.

It started innocently with small tins of baked beans. Then fishfingers showed up in my freezer, swiftly followed by oven chips. Soon, my shelves were straining under the weight of spaghetti hoops and the bigger bottles of ketchup suddenly looked like much better value for money.

golden archesIt is, however, with much regret and head held low, that I confess to taking a convenient step too far – I took the kids to McDonalds. There, I’ve said it, and yes, you may well shake your head in despair. But, hang on just a minute.

I was actually pleasantly surprised by the McExperience. They now have choices other than nuggets and coke (I haven’t totally turned to the dark side just yet). Fishfingers, fruit, milk and raisins were scoffed merrily by the boys while donking each other on the head with the McBalloons they were given. There were, of course, some McFries and plenty of McSauce consumed, but it wasn’t the nutritious McNightmare I had imagined and silently condemned other parents for in the past.

I won’t necessarily be rushing back under the Golden Arches anytime soon, and am making a wholesome fish pie for tea tonight to counter-balance my residual feelings of guilt – but once every three and a half years isn’t so Mcbad – is it?

101 things other mothers never tell you

I have a secret to share with you. It’s about mothers. They are notorious liars. What? Nooooo, I hear you cry, I won’t hear of such a thing.

Oh yes – I am afraid so. They tell outrageous un-truths about their children and their parenting skills to friends, family and – most shocking of all – to other mothers!

 “So, what is childbirth really like”, nervous mums-to-be ask of us ‘experienced’ mummys. “Oh, it’s not that bad really,” we say, “of course it’s a bit painful, but you soon forget about it”.

 This is a LIE! It is excruciatingly painful and you never forget about it (your pelvic floor won’t let you!). And this is just the tip of the iceberg. We continue to bluff and fabricate our way through motherhood, refusing to admit to ourselves, or others, that at times we feel completely miserable, totally incompetent and utterly crushed because our favourite jeans still don’t fit, the baby won’t stop crying and the three-year-old has just thrown their shoes at us.

So, I plan to set the record straight and share a few home truths. One hundred and one of them, to be precise. Ambitious maybe, but I am on a mission to uncover the reality of motherhood. The truth is out there people, and the journey starts here.

Next week the countdown begins with Truth Number 1: Parents do not go on holidays.

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