I have been quite a good mummy this year, so for Christmas I would like….
- A new pair of hands – mine are looking very much like they belong to a 90-year old gardener.
- Some anti-shouting pills or something to prevent me from slamming things in a mum-rage.
- A new car would be lovely. Preferably one which doesn’t let in the rain and soak the boy’s car seats, or one which actually gets warm. Either would be nice. Actually, one like daddy’s car would be very nice.
- Would it be possible to have some self-dying hair, self-manicuring nails and self-applying make-up as I never seem to have the time to do any of this myself.
- Actually, talking of time, a couple of extra hours a day would be great. In fact, make that four extra hours, but you must insist that I am only allowed to do things for myself in those extra hours.
- A self-cleaning floor would be great.
- A sense of style would be lovely.
- I may be pushing my luck here, but if you could see your way to bringing me my very own Nigella Lawson or Annabel Karmel to deal with all the children’s meals that would be nice. Failing that, if you could fill my freezer with a year’s supple of ready-to-serve, nutritious, organic meals that would be fine.
- Oh, and some of those nice chocolates from the coffee shop in the village if you can squeeze them in.
Thanks very much. I left out a mince pie which I made with the children. See, I really am a good mum